Online Personals Hooked You Up, Now Meet in Person

You've exchanged emails, maybe had a couple of sessions with Instant Messenger and then, after your hands were aching from all the typing, you exchanged phone numbers. Maybe you talked for hours. Now you're wondering about getting together. Just like a pilot, you need to do a preflight check before meeting in person. Consider this checklist:

1. Get a fresh photo. If they say the photo in their profile isn't current, ask for one that is. And, of course, if there isn't one with their profile, ask for one before you ever consider meeting. If for no other reason, how will you know 'em when you see 'em?

2. Tell a friend. For the first few in-person dates with someone new, tell a friend, coworker, or neighbor where you're going, who you're meeting, and when you're returning home. Write it down for them. If plans change, call a trusted friend so they know what you're up to.

3. Decide who travels. When meeting someone who lives some distance away, you'll need to figure out who's traveling to meet whom. One of you may have a more flexible schedule and can do most of the traveling. If you continue to see each other, you can eventually take turns traveling.

4. Do your homework. Prepare for your meeting, almost as you would for a job interview. Study the person's profile, your past email correspondence, and any notes you might have taken during your phone conversations. The result will be that this really isn't a "first date." You're already acquainted, over initial shyness, and ready for great conversation.

5. Pick a public place. Arrange to meet in a park or shopping mall, talk for a little while and then, if you feel good about the person, you can move on to another location like a restaurant.

6. Pick your meeting time strategicically. Choose a time of day that suits your assessment of the prospect. For someone you're unsure about, go for a coffee break. That way, if it doesn't work, you have a convenient way to excuse yourself. Meeting for lunch gives you more time. Save after-work and weekend meetings for your best prospects.

7. Think like an onion. When revealing information, think like an onion. Move through one layer at a time and explore each layer before you go on to the next. "I'll tell/show you mine when you tell/show me yours" is a good rule.

Best wishes for many happy meetings!