I get email practically every day from singles who tell me they don't have trouble making good connections with people online, but they have very little success once they meet those people in person. This is an issue surrounding online dating that does not get discussed all that often. It is important, however, to talk about, because you want to minimize the amount of time you spend talking online to people with whom you will not connect in real life.
Here are six key dating tips to maximizing your chances of a successful transition from connecting online to connecting in real life:
1. Take action and keep the momentum going.
One of the biggest things I stress to people when they are dating online is to make a meeting happen as soon as possible. Don't write emails back and forth for two weeks. Don't wait 10 days before you give someone your phone number. Online dating is a momentum-based thing. The other person may be corresponding with six, seven, or 10 other people. You want to be the one who sticks out among the group. You want to be the person who is full of action. So, right after you have exchanged emails twice, get a phone number, talk on the phone, and set up a meeting. Set up something very simple. Go meet for a cup of coffee. Take a walk with your dog. Pick something really easy.
2. Real chemistry happens in person.
One reality about online dating is that most of the time you are not going to have the chemistry with someone in person that you do over the phone or via email, so
you always want to keep your first meeting simple.
you always want to keep your first meeting simple. You want the meeting to happen quickly, and you want to make sure that you both get to the place on your own, so you are able to leave when you choose. Never have dinner on a first meeting.
3. Put the right kind of photos on your profile.
The minimum number of photos you should post with your online profile is five, and every single one of those photos must be current. Of those five pictures, three of them need to be full body shots. You should be clearly visible; don't post any photos where you are so far off in the distance you are totally unrecognizable. Don't post pictures of you surrounded by 10 of your friends at a dinner table. Each of your photos need to clearly show who you are and what you're all about. All of the photos you post also must have you in them. Don't post photos just of your dog or of a waterfall you saw during your last trip to Hawaii.
4. Look within your area first.
Another tip to increase your chances of a successful transition from online into real life is look in your own geographic area first. Don't send winks to people who live 3,000 miles away from you; that's ridiculous. Search within your own geographic area. Try limiting your search at first to a 25-mile radius. Now, don't do that for one day then declare there to be no one in your area to meet so as to give yourself permission to re-expand your search area. Instead, keep looking within that same mile radius.
Also, don't waste time trying to connect with someone who says they are looking to meet someone who lives within a 10-mile radius when you live 500 miles away. Don't waste other people's time, just as you would not want someone wasting yours. Successfully dating online is all about being as time-efficient as possible. If you do that, you are going to be able to go out and meet more people. So respect other people's boundary lines.
5. Remember to "reapply."
Going online to meet your love match is very much like going to a giant singles bar. Just because you contacted someone a month ago (or two or three months ago) and they did not respond, does not necessarily mean they are not or would not be interested in you. There are a million reasons why they may not have responded to you the first time. They may have been dating someone else. They may have had their profile online but not been checking it. They may simply have gotten a flood of emails the day you sent yours and your message got lost in the shuffle. So, in online dating it is perfectly okay to "reapply" if you are still interested in someone who did not respond to you.
There are a few important keys to remember when reapplying online. First, do not ever reapply with the exact same email as the one you originally sent. Type something different and something fun. Do not reference the fact that the person did not respond to you the first time. Also, only reapply once. Do not take the idea of "reapplying" as a justification to start stalking someone online.
6. Make your contacts real conversations.
Online dating is about starting the conversation. So before you contact someone, make sure you read their entire profile. It's very important to begin communication by addressing something substantive you liked or noticed about their profile. Remember that when that person wrote their profile, they did so to communicate certain pieces of information about themselves to you -- to start a conversation with you.
Imagine what someone is like when you read their profile. Read it aloud so you can actually hear their voice tone, and then take the first couple of questions that come into your mind and send them to that person. It will make for the start of a real conversation, so you can see if they are someone you want to get to know better.
These tips will make your online dating experience far more rewarding and will help you meet people online whom you'd want to get to know in the real world. It's about being different, and not being the same as everyone else who is online looking to meet someone.
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