Her cheatin' heart

MENTION the word "adultery" and chances are, the men always come to mind.

But no more.

It seems that more women are cheating on their spouses - nearly as many as men, reported the International Herald Tribune.

Researchers from the University of Washington found that infidelity is on the rise, and notably, women are closing the adultery gap.

Younger women are also cheating on their spouses nearly as often as men.

The research showed that the lifetime rate of infidelity for men over 60 increased from 20 per cent in 1991 to 28 per cent in 2006. But for women over 60, the increase is even more striking - up from 5 per cent to 15 per cent in that same period.

Mr David Atkins, research associate professor at the University of Washington Centre said: "If you just ask whether infidelity is going up, you don't see really impressive changes.

"But if you magnify the picture and you start looking at specific gender and age cohorts, we do start to see some pretty significant changes."

The researchers also said they saw big changes in relatively new marriages.

About 20 per cent of men and 15 per cent of women under 35 say they have been unfaithful, up from about 15 per cent and 12 per cent respectively, according to that report.

In Singapore, private investigators we spoke to also noticed that more women are cheating on their spouses.

Private investigator Deborah de Souza said that she has seen more men coming forward to engage their services to spy on their partners.

"I used to see only one or two such cases a month about eight years ago. But now, I see about four to five such cases every month," said Ms de Souza.

Often, these women know the third party through work. Those who are not working usually form such relationships online, she said.

The reasons for cheating include women being neglected by their husbands and changing perception about divorces.

Said Ms de Souza: "Women these days are also more vocal, more empowered and perhaps more bold.

What women want

"Relationships don't spring from nothing. These women know what they want. And if they can't get it from their husbands, they'll find someone else."

The number of divorces and annulments in Singapore has also grown over the years. It rose from 6,388 in 2004 to 7,226 last year, according to the Singapore's Department of Statistics.

The top three reasons for divorce among non-Muslims were living apart/ separation, unreasonable behaviour and adultery.

Adultery, which counted for 3.7 per cent of the divorces in 1997, dropped to 1.7 per cent last year. For the husband, the figure dropped from 3.9 per cent to 1.8 per cent. For the wife, it dipped from 3.6 per cent to 1.7 per cent.

But Ms de Souza said that these numbers do not necessarily say everything.

She said that in divorce cases, both parties will usually go for an uncontested divorce and ask for a separation instead.

She explained: "When you're in such a situation, both parties usually don't want to wash their dirty linen in public. So, they'll agree on a separation.

"And for a guy, for pride or ego reasons, they're even less inclined to blow it up and give 'adultery' as the reason for the divorce."

In US, even online pornography has been blamed for rising infidelity cases.

The increasing availability of such pornography, which has been shown to affect sexual attitudes and perceptions of "normal" behaviour, may be playing a role in rising infidelity among younger couples.

Even newer drugs and treatments like Viagra and other remedies for erectile dysfunction, estrogen and testosterone supplements also spur infidelity.

These treatments are making it easier to be sexual, and in some cases unfaithful, especially for older folks.

But researchers also questioned if the historical gap between men and women is real or if women have just been more likely to lie about it.

Ms Helen Fisher, research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, said: "Men want to think women don't cheat, and women want men to think they don't cheat, and therefore the sexes have been playing a little psychological game with each other."