Dating can be one of the most stressful things you can do, but I have some tips that will ease the stress and hopefully make it more enjoyable. Because really that is what it is all about! Here they are!
1. Information. Find out where you are going so you can dress appropriately. What’s appropriate? Dressed up (sun dress, skirt) for dinner, dressed down (jeans, cute t-shirt) for horseback riding. The last thing you want to do is go horseback riding in a dress!! This is also important so you can know what extras to bring. So, if you are going to the beach you can have your swimsuit ready.
2. Questions. Have some questions ready for the conversation. Chances are you have met your date before so you know a little about what they do and are into. If you do not know, ask around to gather some information. That way if you are at loss for words you can always say something like “How do you like working at _______?” or “What is World of Warcraft?”
3. Passions. This goes with number 2. Talk about passions you know you share (see how questions come in handy) “The packers totally should have won against the giants if it weren’t for the terrible weather” People like to talk about themselves and their passions. So if you share a passion talk about it!!
4. Unique. Now this date is not all about the other person either. They want to know what is interesting about you so if you have something unique or just something you are really into Talk about it. The passion will come through and really impress your date. : )
5. Humor. No I don’t mean have a stand up routine ready. What I mean is be able to laugh. Sometimes we get so nervous that we tend to take everything so seriously. Being able to laugh when something is funny will make it more comfortable for the both of you and you have a lot more fun as a result. Now I say when something is funny because one of the worst things you could do is the fake laugh the he he he. Don’t do that! :)
6. Go with the flow. If something doesn’t go right on the date let it go this really is a lesson for life in general. For example if you asked for a steak cooked medium and your steak is mooing because it is so raw ask the server politely if they will cook it a little longer and then let it go. You are there to have fun and if you are worried about everything else that is going on around you, you will be miserable and so will your date.
6.5 Be nice. If he opens the car door for you, unlock his door for him. Don’t order the lobster, truffle steak dinner for $150 (unless you are paying), when he is ordering the spaghetti for $8. Be considerate and nice. You don’t want to take advantage of him trying to impress you by emptying his bank account or ordering him around!!!!
7. Be Yourself. One of the worst things you can do is want to be with your date so much that you start acting different because that is what you think they want and like. Think about it for a second. Let’s say you are goth and happy to be goth but you are about to go on a date with the preppy guy in your class. So you, thinking that he will only like you that way, start acting preppy. You get the clothes, the haircut, and everything else you think a preppy is. Maybe your first date he thinks he got to know who you are and you both have a wonderful time. Well at least he does who knows how you did(acting can be hard work). Such a wonderful time that you are now dating. How long do you think you are going to be happy acting like a prep when who you are is goth? When all you want to do is listen to goth music and the top 40 station is playing 24/7? You won’t be happy and ultimately the most important person is You. No matter how wonderful he is or what he does for you in the end no one person can bring you true happiness unless you are happy with yourself and pretending to be something other than who you are is the complete opposite of happy. You didn’t give yourself the chance to be who you are and let him see that as well. He could have been even more into you as a goth then as a prep. You underestimated yourself and him all because you didn’t think you who are was enough. Never think you are not enough and if you think it respond with I am more than enough because you are! Let me say it again just to make sure it sticks BE YOURSELF!
8. Fun. Really life is about having fun. Whoever said it is about work is a sad individual. We look forward to fun and are consistently seeking it out. So if you are out on a date have fun with it. Even if it is the worse date you could ever have everything went wrong you will never go out with him again. Just have fun with it. You are in the situation anyway and you might as well make the most of it. Get the dessert!! Smile. Just have fun and if it is a good date and you want to go out with him again chances are you will because fun is contagious. And who doesn’t want to hang out with a fun person.
9. Safety. Be safe do only what you feel comfortable with. Just because I told you to go with the flow and have fun does not mean I want you to be unsafe or do something you are uncomfortable with. You can certainly have fun and go with the flow safely!! Listen to your gut if something doesn’t seem right even if your mind (or other people) are telling you to do it DON’T!!!! Your intuition is one of your most important tools and it is there to guide you and keep you safe. I know I don’t have to tell you this but just in case, watch your drinks (if you go to the bathroom, get a new one when you come back), stay alert (that means don’t get high or drunk), don’t go to an area you are not familiar with and with unfamiliar people and just be cautious. Just because you think you know someone cause you have hung out a couple times does not mean you do. This is not meant to be a damper but you never know and until you know you should be cautious.
10. Second Date. If you felt the sparks fly and would love to go on a second date ask for it. Say “I really had a good time we should do this again.” This puts the ball in their court so that if they want a second date they can say ” I agree. What are you doing Monday?” If the date didn’t go as planned, it’s OK smile, just know your prince charming is coming soon and if you are not smiling how will he find you? :)
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