You’re independent, decent-looking and financially stable. You have lots to offer, yet you’re still single.
If you can’t understand why you’ve not found the right person, maybe you’ve been guilty of the classic mistakes many singles make.
See if any of the reasons below describe you perfectly, and perhaps it's time to think about ways to remedy your predicament.
Reason #1: You are as busy as a bee
Your career is your first love, and ambition flows fervently through your veins. You thought you could find a partner after rising to the top of the corporate ladder, but you’ve since realized there is no end to the climb.
Having spent most of your time focusing on getting ahead, you’ve lost sight of your social life and now you have no clue where to begin searching for your life partner. But just remember that you have to make time for the things that matter to you.
Reason #2: You value your independence over being ‘tied down’ by a partner
When you were younger, being single and independent was enticing, as you could do anything you wanted without being accountable to someone else.
But being in a relationship involves plenty of commitment, sacrifice and compromise. Even though you’re probably in the habit of doing things on your own terms, sometimes a little change is good.
Your daily routines are not set in stone; try to let go and be more open to allow someone in. You can invite that special someone into your life and still have your freedom (plus you now have newfound freedom to share transparently and intimately with your partner.)
Reason #3: You don’t try hard enough
Good things in life don’t come for free.
If you’re sitting around the house, moping and waiting for the right person to somehow fall from the sky, your chances of success are slim. It sounds intimidating and stressful, but the more you put yourself out there, the more opportunities you have to meet your ideal match.
Sure, you’ll have to sift through several unlikely candidates before meeting someone with promise, but it’ll be worth it.
When you put in the time and effort to expand your social circle, you’ll find yourself making more friends, and potential prospects will come naturally along the way.
Reason #4: You have high standards that are impossible to meet
If your checklist includes requirements like tall, good-looking, fit, intelligent, charismatic, rich, and with flawless character traits, chances are you’ll be disappointed.
We all want our life partner to be perfect (or as close to perfection as possible), but somewhere along the line we have to admit that it’s unachievable, because no one is perfect.
You don’t have to lower your standards to include everyone on the street, but if you’re too choosy about qualities you’re looking for in a partner, you may be letting the right person slip through your fingers.
Reason #5: You are too afraid to put yourself out there and meet other people
The thought of being vulnerable and opening up to someone else scares you to death.
Our fears include commitment, failure and rejection; you feel self-conscious and lack the confidence to approach others of the opposite sex.
But all you need is to take that first step to meet new people and engage in simple conversation with them. Once you’ve gotten that initial meeting out of the way, things will go smoother and fall into place easily.
Remember, practice makes perfect.
Reason #6: You have turned bitter and cynical after failed past relationships
We’ve all had our hearts broken (sometimes into several pieces), but it is essential to learn from it and move on. You can’t let your negativity affect you when trying to meet new people, because no one wants to be stuck in the presence of a sour puss.
So take some time to let old wounds heal, then leave all that baggage behind and look forward to starting a new, clean slate with someone else.
Reason #7: You have not made an effort to maintain your appearance consistently
Appearances matter. It’s as simple as that.
We may try to convince ourselves to look past the surface and see the beauty that lies within, but if there is no physical chemistry, the relationship will face a challenging start.
That is not to say that you must look perfectly coiffed during every single second of every single day, but at least attempt to look decent and maintain a good appearance consistently whether at work or play.
You never know when you will bump into a potential partner. So put in the effort to learn the art of grooming, ie. wearing the right colour or style that is uniquely you.
Reason #8: You treasure your possessions more than people
We all have things that we love – our favorite pets, computers, cars, TV shows, gadgets, clothes, and the list goes on.
But keep in mind that these are merely material belongings, and cannot substitute for human companionship. So put aside your valuables for at least one day in a week, and step out into the world to give yourself an opportunity to find love.
With all that said, the main thing is to keep an open mind and be receptive to opportunities. Go out and attend social events. Volunteer your service for charities and make no qualms about trying out dating services or professional matchmaking services.
Now that you’re armed with all this knowledge, it’s time to put yourself out there and start to explore.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
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