Instant Persuasion

How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life
by Laurie Puhn
Tarcher/Penguin, 2005
This communication guide offers 35 rules for mastering the fine art of verbal persuasion. Whatever the social situation, it explains what "communication blunders" to avoid and "communication wonders" to employ.

"The wonders persuade people to like, listen to, cooperate with and respect you so that people will help you get what you want in life," lawyer and professional mediator Laurie Puhn explains.

"After noticing many of the same basic communication mistakes occurring over and over again in mediations, I knew there was a need for people to have better persuasive skills. The specific words people choose to say often have more influence on the outcome of the mediation process than does the content of what is being said."

Viewing the mediation setting as a microcosm for real-world conversations, Puhn developed the 35 rules described and illustrated with anecdotal examples throughout this book, from Rule #1 Punch With a Smile to Rule #35 Pay With Words.

It is surprising how little awareness most folks have of the impact their words have on those around them. Being outspoken and expressing your feelings or opinions can sometimes have a devastating impact on the listener. As Puhn explains in Rule #9 Hold Your Tongue, we should give advice only when asked for it, or after getting permission to give after asking, "Would you like my advice?"

Puhn intersperses her 35 rules with real-world examples, some rather obvious and others genuinely entertertaining and instructive.