Time

There are many things in this world that are valuable… work, family, health, possessions, and so forth. But it could be argued that the most valuable thing you’ll ever have in this world, outside of your health, is your TIME. In fact, the way you use your time has a major impact on the quality of your health. Do you take time for exercise and nutrition? Or do you just kill time, hoping you’ll feel fine and everything will work out fine?

I would suggest that your success and failure, in almost every part of your life, depend almost entirely on how you use your TIME. Think about it. You can always get another job, and you always get new possessions. You can never get a more TIME, and you can never recapture the TIME you’ve spent. That being the case, I would argue that it’s well worth your TIME to understand TIME and how to manage it. For starters:

PushingTime

1. You need to understand that TIME is a resource.
But it’s a different kind of resource. You can’t buy it, rent it, borrow it, store it, save it, renew it, or multiply it. All you can do is spend it. There is no way you can “save” time. When people say they are “saving” time, they simply mean they’re spending less time on a task. They’re not saving it for future use because all time must be spent now.

Unlike other resources, such as talent, education, or money, we all have the exact same amount of time. It’s the only aspect of our lives where we are all truly equal. As psychologist Dr. Denis Waitley points out, “Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can’t buy more hours. Scientists can’t invent more hours.”

2. Your TIME is your LIFE.
You’re the only one who can spend YOUR time. And how you spend your time reveals your true VALUES. Oh, a person could say his health is important to him, but if he’s too busy to spend time on exercise and nutrition, we would question how truthful he is being about his values.

And a person could say her career is important to her, but if she never invests any time in her own continuing education, we would question how truthful she is being about her values. Before you spend any time on a task, take a moment to think about your values. And ask yourself, “How truly valuable is this task?’

3. You need to understand the tricky nature of TIME.
No one ever seems to have enough time, yet everyone has all the time there is. And nothing is easier than being busy, while nothing is more difficult than actually accomplishing something.

I’m sure you all know coworkers who are busy, but they don’t have too much to show for it. They confuse activity with accomplishment.

4. You need to understand the difference between the efficient and effective use of TIME.
Efficiency refers to doing the job right. Effectiveness refers to doing the right job. When you’re efficient, you do the job in front of you in the best possible way. But when you’re effective, you may or may not do the job in front of you. You do what most needs to be done at a particular point in time.

When you’re a good time manager, you blend the two approaches. You look at all the possible tasks in front of you; select the most important task to work on, and do it in the best possible way. When you learn how to do that and do it consistently, your work will be more productive and your life will be more peaceful. You will have successfully avoided Parkinson’s Law which says, “Work expands to fill the time.”

You know what I’m talking about. It may take all Saturday to clean your house, but if an important dignitary was going to be at your house in an hour, you would get the house cleaned almost to the same point in an hour that might normally take you six hours.

5. You need to avoid the lion tamer’s diversion.
You may have watched a lion tamer carry a stool into a cage of lions and wondered what that was all about. Even though the lion tamer has his whips and guns, he knows the stool is his most important tool. He holds the stool by the seat and thrusts it towards the animal’s face. The poor lion tries to focus on all four legs at once, and in so doing, a kind of paralysis overwhelms him. He becomes weak and disabled because his attention is fragmented.

In a similar fashion, disorganized people are those who can’t focus their efforts when they’re faced with lots of tasks. So they end up being poor time managers or even time wasters. You can’t let that happen to you. Start by listing all the personal and professional tasks facing you. Rate the importance of each task as either high, medium, or low, and do them in the order of their importance — if at all possible.

And finally …

6. You need to avoid the hamster’s dilemma.
I’m sure you’ve seen it, the poor little hamster running frantically on his carousel. No matter how hard he runs or how long he runs, he never seems to get anywhere. And maybe you feel that way some of the time. If so, I suggest the following:

• Think about what you want out of life … not how much you can get done. Assess all your activities. If they add to your life, keep them. If they don’t, eliminate them whenever possible.

• Understand your body clock. Identify its peak times and try to schedule especially difficult work for those times.

• Don’t crowd every minute with some task. If you do, tension rises and effectiveness declines.

• Slow down. Don’t be addicted to rushing. Ask, “Why am I rushing? What will happen if I don’t rush?” Learn the difference between necessary haste and unnecessary impatience.

• Subtract an old activity from your life each time you add a new one.

It’s about TIME that you used your TIME better.

1-Minute Exercises to Improve Posture and Reduce Back Pain

【靜思書軒心靈講座】20141101 - 靜心靜思 - 楊定一(下)

20120526《靜思書軒。心靈講座》在呼吸之間 為自己爭氣 (上)

為了遇見40歲更好的自己：停止過度的學習，只要做對5項，人生就會開始改變- 嶋津良智

Joel Osteen Being Disciplined & Rule Over Your Feelings

20100814-1《靜思書軒。心靈講座》遇見更好的自己 (上)

卢苏伟：看见自己的天才

八岁时因患脑膜炎，使得部分脑功能受损，直到小学五年级才开始认字；国中读了四年换了三所学校，因智力测验只有70分，还读过启智班；勉强读完高职电子科后，他整整花了七年，考了五次才考上台湾警察大学，在考上大学之前，他只是一个智商不足，被认定为是有学习障碍的白痴。

大二时，在大学教授的帮助下，他终于找到了自己的优势智能，看见了自己的天才，因而能够因势利导，取得成功。大学毕业时是全系第三名。

现在的他，是一位辅导专家，不但负责观护百余位问题青少年，也是知名的潜能整合专家，曾受邀至美国、加拿大、澳大利亚、马来西亚、新加坡、菲律宾等国家，演讲已逾三千场，更跻身作家的行列，出版过三十多本著作，并创办了台湾世纪领袖文教基金会。他为自己的人生创造了无限可能，从白痴变成了天才。

卢苏伟（Lu,Su-Wei），男，1960年10月8日出生於台北县平溪乡，八岁时因患日本脑膜炎，使得部份脑功能受损，直到小学五年级才开始学会识字；国中读了四年换了三所学校，因智力测验只有七十分，还读过启智班；勉强读完高职电子科后，他整整花了七年，考了五次才考上中央警察大学犯罪防治系，然而在此之前，他只是一个智商不足，被判定学习有障碍的白痴。大二时，他在马传镇教授的协助下，发现他对於短暂的记忆、数字的学习、平面空间等方面较差，却在分析、整合、创造方面有很强的能力，这才找到了合适自己的读书方法，天天向上，看见了自己的天才，大学毕业时全系第三名，当年并以第三名考上高考司法行政观护人，现任板桥地方法院少年保护官，并创办世纪领袖文教基金会－创新教学方法，拯救那些被放弃的喜憨儿。现在的他是一位辅导家，不但负责观护百位问题青少年，也是位国内、外知名的潜能整合专家，曾受邀美国、加拿大、澳洲、马来西亚、新加坡、香港、菲律宾等国家，演讲已逾三千场，更挤身为作家的行列，出版过「看见自己的天才」等三十多本著作，他为自己的人生创造了无限可能，从白痴变成了天才。

卢苏伟的胞姊台北市立师院幼教所教授卢美贵表示，阿伟是家母在苦难中祈求而降的「雷公仔」，一出生就扮演著常会受伤的「非常人」的角色，所以在延治多时可能致死，而却能免於一死的岁月里，他还能抱持「多活一天，就多赚一天」的坚忍与豁达，还能用平和的心境「享受」生命历程给他的挫折与荆棘。阿伟是一个时钟都不会看的「特教班」学生，花了七年，考了五次才考上大学，但在家人及老师们以「不错了呢」、「已经『有』分数了喔」的鼓励下，阿伟创造了自己的「与众不同」，家父的话言犹在耳「如果你弟弟是猪，他也会是世界上最聪明的猪」；「别人脑震荡越震越笨，你弟弟会越震越聪明」，而事实也证明，阿伟由「白痴」一步步被推向了「聪明」的舞台。「我不是笨，而是聪明和别人不一样。」阿伟在恩师的爱护和专业的剖析、引导下发挥了他的优势智能，适如多元智能大师迦纳所言，人人都有他的优势智能，而这优势智能仍有待被「唤醒」－看见自己的天才，是敲开生命宝藏的一块砖石、希望有更多的老师和父母帮助孩子开启生命的宝库。

卢苏伟表示：「没有学不会的，只有还没找到适合自己学习的方法而已。」生命的独特来自我们深入的看见自己。阿伟这条「捡回来的命」在「看见自己的天才」后闪亮登场，他本身见证了：「生命的独特来自於我们深入的看见自己」，学著接受彼此间的差异是生命旅程上的重要功课：赏识自己、疼惜自己、爱护自己、发现自己、懂得自己、知道自己的系列，正是他血泪交织的自剖与自白。

（上述文字来自网络）

今天在蔡真妮的博客看到一篇博文，颇受感动，在网上搜到上述文字和书籍，对我真有醍醐灌顶般的感觉。其实无论是教育孩子还是激励自己，都应该有这种不屈不挠的精神，每个人身上都有潜能，只是我们还没有找对方向而已。

昨天上午无意间看到BTV3《成长在北京》的节目，俞敏洪的励志故事也告诉我们，人生何其漫长，每个人出现峰值的时间都不一样，他比喻春夏秋冬皆有花开，世界才不会单调；人生也是如此，有早慧的，也有大器晚成的，姜太公年代久远不可考暂且不提；看看国画大师“南黄北齐”：齐白石的创造高峰在80-90岁，黄宾虹也是70岁以后成名，如果以人类预期寿命100岁来看，我们前面都是机会啊，就看自己能否把握了。

20130907《靜思書軒。心靈講座》看見我的天才 (下)

20130329_賞識自己-看見孩子的天才_盧蘇偉_正和書院_01-43-18_正和親職講座

Prayer

Dear God, we’ve been through this many times, You and I.
You’ve watched me take one step forward,
Then fall back two.
You’ve seen me slip in simple vows:
My daily swim, for instance.
One day I’m churning through the pool,
The next I’m all excuses–too cold, too late, too tired.
And what about the morning time
That I’ve reserved for You?
One day I’m up, the next I see the clock and say,
Tomorrow for sure, but today I need my sleep.
God won’t mind…
But oh, my God,
I know You do!
Please, God, keep me pressing toward the mark, relentlessly.
Keep me faithful in my resolve,
that I may gain the prize of Your high calling.

Prayer For Self Esteem - Prayers For Self Confidence

Powerful Prayer For Strength - Strength Prayers To Empower You

孫叔唱副歌~每天就當作最後一天過

黑幼龍【達樂年代 - 自信篇】

Powerful Prayers and Confessions of the Word to build up and restore you...

Prayer For Self Esteem - Prayers For Self Confidence

Tony Robbins - How To Create MASSIVE CONFIDENCE - #MentorMeTony

How to be Creative

從「慢養」開始親子互動的【卡內基家庭】

1119聚焦2.0》黑幼龍PART1

【靜思書軒心靈講座】20140830 - 壓力變動力 - 黑幼龍(上)

《改變的起點》黑幼龍教您如何把壓力當作跳板(完整版)｜中視新聞20141013

《改變的起點》黑幼龍教您如何把壓力當作跳板(完整版)｜中視新聞20141013

破局而出 - 黑幼龍

黑幼龍：能從谷底站起來，都是抱著「希望」的人

黑幼龍，這位大家耳熟能詳的潛能開發與溝通大師，在一年多前走過了罹癌的危機，他說：「不管面對的是全面性的、全世界性的，或是個人的危機，能夠在這個谷底站起來的人，常常不是因為他比較有錢、比較有學問，或是身體比較好，而是他對未來常常抱著希望。」透著光芒的眼神，黑幼龍誠摰地說：「這一點，尤其現在經濟不景氣，其實很值得我們想一想‧」

從生命谷底出發，重新認識生命

二十年多前，黑幼龍引進「卡內基訓練」，在台灣獲得極大的迴響與成功，在他的管理與領導下，台灣自1993年以來連續15年獲得全世界「卡內基訓練」業績第一名。不過，善於溝通、激發潛能的訓練大師，在面臨生死的一瞬，也如常人般脆弱。一次身體檢查中，發現血液中PSA值(罹患攝護腺癌的指數)過高，「我也緊張啊，我也慌亂了……」黑幼龍眉頭緊皺地似乎重歷了當時的心情。

當危機、壓力衝擊而來，試煉著黑幼龍的是，「保持正向態度」的「理論與實踐」是否能在自己的身上劃上等號。傾訴、禱告與閱讀是他維持正向思考的方式。他形容，祈禱是把人有限的力量，跟宇宙無限的力量結合，而傾訴則是讓自己情緒不再向下低沈。

歷時將近8個月，連續做了兩次切片檢查，PSA指數降低，解除了罹癌的警報。黑幼龍敘述這段往事，隨著死亡威脅的遠離，臉上的線條漸漸柔和：「我不敢講純粹因為我正向態度帶來的改變，可是一定有影響！」

沒有高調的說教，以自身的實例、小故事闡述人生哲理，黑幼龍用的方式令人感同身受，更容易激發心中那份潛藏的對生命的熱情。走過了生死大關，他說，這讓自己更懂得感恩，或許也因為如此，他一再強調「態度正向」與「積極面對人生」的重要性。

永遠有願景，才是「倖存者」

黑幼龍從一個小故事中獲得啟發，他發現了「倖存者」活下來的力量。一位奧地利的心理學家弗蘭克(Viktor E. Frankl)在二次世界大戰中遭到德國納粹囚禁於惡名昭彰的奧斯威辛集中營，黑幼龍說：「弗蘭克的全家人都死在集中營，只有他存活。他說：『即使在最惡劣的狀況下，在人間地獄，那些能夠活下來、能夠走出集中營的人，常常不是身強力壯、健康的人，而都是對未來抱有希望者。我要活著出去看我的小女兒、我要活著出去結婚、我要活著出去創業、我要活著出去寫一本書………』永遠有一種願景的人活下來了！」

今日的黑幼龍構築的「卡內基版圖」，擴及台灣與大陸，「成功」在他身上刻劃出的不是商業氣息，而是一種近似學者般的紳士風度。他笑著說自己當年是一個考不上大學的小子，是一個交不到女朋友的窮軍人。不過，到後來，他卻娶了一位才貌雙全的台大醫學院高材生當妻子；也主持過電視節目「新武器大觀」；更成為美國卡內基在台的經營者。「其實也不是我比較努力，也不是我比較用功，也不是我……可能那(年輕)時候，才20歲出頭啊，我對我的未來，沒有絕望！」講到這兒，黑幼龍嘴角下的兩個小酒窩，因為主人開懷的笑容更為明顯。

他再次引用遭受迫害的猶太籍心理學家的案例，「這位心理學家他還說，在集中營裡邊，同樣的打擊發生在兩個不同的人身上，一個人是憤怒要報復、要報仇；另外一個人是包容、寬恕。這個人選擇的是絕望；那個人選擇的是希望，選擇希望的人認為挫折過了以後，你就自由了，你就可以活下來了。」

樂觀態度也似漣漪傳播？

帶著笑容的黑幼龍，語調轉為高昂地提出忠告：「很奇怪，一旦你抱著正向樂觀的態度，你人也不一樣了。你去跟人家談話的時候，人家覺得你好正向喔，你都沒有放棄，人家對你有不同的感受。如果我已經垂頭喪氣了，對未來抱著沒有希望，多半你去找工作，或是跟人家談話，人家一定感受得到。」

近來，美國哈佛大學的一份研究報告指出，一個人的快樂會像水面的漣漪一樣，傳播到三層社會關係以外。或許，這個道理用在「樂觀態度」上，也可以得到同樣的實驗結果。

黑幼龍還提出這樣的警告：「今天遭遇這個狀況的時候，我們要抱著希望，簡單的說，沒有抱著希望的人，就算你現在沒有被裁掉，你覺得還不錯，(可是)還是很危險，因為到後來，你會發現，常常能夠留下來的，是(那些)對未來有正向態度的人。」

因此，面對失業，被裁員的危機，黑幼龍的看法是：「被公司裁員，有時候是全面性的，常常先走的都是比較消極的人，很冷漠啊、沒有熱忱、很容易跟人家起衝突，這些人都是第一批走的。」

黑幼龍接著說：「我的新竹科學園區好多朋友告訴我說，如果有一個工程師天天悶悶不樂，好像人家都欠他錢的樣子，消極啦，與人起衝突。這種人通常三個月到六個月就離職了，也許是公司不讓他作，或錈自己辭職。而這個人很可能是名校畢業的。」

父母對小孩最大的寄望往往就是考取好學校，有好成績，將來有好發展。「不過，好不容易費了九牛二虎之力，常常加班開夜車K書，成績好，去念了台大，但是到最後還是不如意。」

高學歷與溝通能力，熟輕熟重？

黑幼龍點出了一個癥結：「我們未來的一生在職?上、家庭、生活中，溝通能力扮演一個很重要的因素，而不是我們的學歷。」他比喻：「每年台灣大約2,000名醫學院畢業的學生，這2,000人都考取了醫師執照，都經過醫學院7年的教育，但是10年以後，這2,000個醫生，命運與成就都不一樣。」他認為溝通能力好壞是關鍵因素。

黑立國是黑幼龍第二個孩子，在美國華盛頓大學醫學院當醫生，39歲的他，已被提拔當副院長。「有那麼多資深的人，主任啊、主治醫師啊，還有他的老師、教授，怎麼會想到他呢？人家告訴他，關鍵原因就是他的溝通能力。他在開會的時候怎麼樣溝通，他的發言常常很得體，部門跟部門有問題，他怎樣去溝通。」虎父無犬子，黑幼龍雖然語氣平和，不過神采飛揚，為人父的驕傲盡在其中。

而溝通能力等於口材嗎？黑幼龍破了這個迷思，「溝通，常常不是因為你很會講話，不是！溝通，常常是你很聽。」

虛偽的讚美似一張偽鈔

他強調：「虛偽的讚美好像是一張偽鈔！」他說：「你用(虛偽的讚美)出去，後來會找你麻煩，因為通常別人會聽得出來是真的、是假的？就像花言巧語，大概第一次有效，或者剛剛見面前面幾分鐘有效，如果是長期交朋友，長期的同事，很快就知道你是說好聽的，很快的，這種人就會自食其果。」

「傾聽、微笑、支持，給予對方及時善意的反應，談對方感興趣的話題，真誠態度，是溝通能力好與否的關鍵。」黑幼龍用他招牌的笑容，下了這樣一個註解。

47歲才開始轉業經營卡內基訓練課程，在他人眼中，步入中年的黑幼龍，有4個求學中的孩子，家庭的開銷龐大，轉換跑道存在著更大的風險與壓力，不過他卻說：「我知道，我真正要做有興趣的！」

「蘋果電腦的老闆史蒂夫‧賈希斯(Steve Jobs)到耶魯大學畢業典禮演講時說：『我只能告訴你們一樣事情，你們將來做的工作一定要你們喜歡的，只有這樣，你們才能夠做得好，才能有競爭力！』」

走出谷底，才有機會另攀高峰

危機是轉機？低潮、挫折對於人們來說，或許是一個轉捩點，一個盤整自我、內省自我的機會，也可以是重新再出發的好時機！

黑幼龍誠摰地期勉正在遭受失業之苦與擔憂失業的讀者：「將來人的一生，這絕對不是最後一個危機，不要說全面的，個別的還有好多事情，所以我們要好好地過我們的一生。」

走出谷底，才能發現自己是否正走上另一個高峰，黑幼龍以三句話做為這次訪談的最後祝福：「第一，祈求上蒼給我一顆平靜的心靈，去接受我不能改變的事情；第二，請賜給我勇氣去改變那些可以改變的事情；最後就是，祈求上蒼賜給我智慧，去分辨這兩者的不同。」

而他給失業者家人的忠告則是：「不指責、不批評、不抱怨，給予讚美跟支持。」

相信永恆的生命

走路是他喜歡的運動，看電影是他最喜愛的娛樂。信仰天主教的黑幼龍說他「相信永恆的生命」，也認為人是有靈魂，死亡，不過是在世界上告一段落。「我覺得死後有生命，我感覺這個生命還在延續。」

破局而出

走進他位於台北市的辦公室，一整面落地窗讓人視野頓時遼闊起來。黑幼龍不好意思地告訴我們：「辦公室沒整理，很亂。」在他的提醒下，我們才注意到桌上幾個未歸檔的文件。其實在我們看來，幾個文件夾並沒有與井然有序的擺設造成衝突，反而顯露出主人性格隨和的一面。角落上有一桌的獎牌、獎座，他拿起一個出版社贈與的獎項，笑容可鞠地說：「這個獎牌，代表的不是我書賣多少本，而是因為那本書激勵了人心啊……」《破局而出》是他撰寫的15本勵志書籍中的一本，15萬冊的銷售佳績，似乎不是黑幼龍眼中的重點。

談到自身事業的成功，他沒有過多的言詞，不過談到經營大師巴菲特(Warren Buffett)的辦公室裡掛著一張已泛黃、超過50年的卡內基訓練畢業證書，黑幼龍的語氣轉而開心且興奮，炯炯有神的雙眼顯得自信愉悅：「巴菲特有一本新的書—他的自傳《雪球》(Snowboll)，是唯一授權寫的自傳。在這本書裡他提到了我們的訓練16次耶！16個地方談到卡內基訓練對他帶來了多大的改變！」

而人生的成功與價值的追求，目標為何呢？

今年1月份美國韜睿人力資源諮詢公司發布的研究報告顯示，在全球的經濟危機中，美國職?人士最為關切的是就業安全感。而幾個月前，他們最關心是工作與家庭之間的平衡。

黑幼龍像一位長者，像一個父親，低沈且帶磁性的聲音表達了他的看法：「卡內基最終的目的是希望每一個人皆能獲得圓滿幸福的生活。」

家庭幸福

已經當了祖父，擁有五個孫子、五個孫女的黑幼龍，家庭幸福。妻子兒女都在事業上有所成就，但他說，最令他感到驕傲的是，其中一個兒子認養了一個東埔寨的孤兒。「他很累，為甚麼還要領養一個孩子？因為，他認為自己過的不錯的話，把自己幸福家庭跟別的小孩分享，這個願望代表光是捐錢是做不到的」黑幼龍舉過無數的小故事作為案例，這個實例卻讓他臉上光彩無限。

總是循著「正面對待生命」的黑幼龍，熱愛工作與生活，撰寫一本虛幻小說則是他目前最大的新願望，他用活力十足的口氣告訴我們：「我可以不用上班，但我不會退休，我喜歡做的事情要繼續做，好比說教學、演講、寫作，這個可以一直做下去。」黑幼龍用行動宣示著自己積極的人生態度與對生命的熱忱。

Anger and Revenge are More Powerful Motivators than Happiness and Love

How to Relieve ‘Tech Neck’ After Using Your Phone Too Much

Alone With HIM - 3 Hour Peaceful Music | Relaxation Music | Meditation M...

Warren Buffett.

 

 

Billionaire Warren Buffett, the chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, is 87 years old and still capturing the world's attention as the second richest person on the planet (as of this writing).

So, how has he done it? Actually, it's not so much about what he has done as it is what he hasn't done. With all the demands on him every day, Buffett learned a long time ago that the greatest commodity of all is time. He simply mastered the art and practice of setting boundaries for himself.

That's why this Buffett quote remains a powerful life lesson. The mega-mogul said:

The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.

The powerful meaning behind Buffett's statement

Whether he meant saying no in the investment sense is not so important; what is important is that his advice, in whatever context, can apply to anyone arriving at the crossroads of daily decision-making.

For most ambitious people, we want to accomplish things. We are driven for results, doing more, learning things, getting promoted, and starting new ventures. But we also have our personal lives we can't ignore for optimum balance and happiness. Ambition in this sense can mean taking care of family priorities, expanding our social circles, and pursuing hobbies and other interests. 

That's when Buffett's advice is a bull's-eye to our conscience. We have to know what to shoot for to simplify our lives. It means saying no over and over again to the unimportant things flying in our direction every day and remaining focused on saying yes to the few things that truly matter.

Steve Jobs agreed. It's about focus

Jobs prophetically supported this notion of saying no at an Apple Worldwide Developers Conference in 1997. Here's what he said: 

People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I'm actually as proud of the things we haven't done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.

Like Jobs and Buffett, it's hushing that loud voice in your head when it tempts you with yet another sexy proposition that might steer you off course. You say a resounding NO! when it asks, "Should I take this opportunity? It may never come around again." Sometimes, the best course of action is not taking any action.

Seven things successful people say no to every day

Jim Collins, famous author of the mega-bestseller Good to Great, once suggested that instead of to-do lists, we should make "stop-doing" lists. Because in obsessing over to-do lists full of things that don't really matter, we spend less time saying yes to the things that do. 

Here are seven things the most successful people say no to on a regular basis. Perhaps you should too?

1. They say no to opportunities and things that don't excite them, speak to their values, or further their mission in life.

2. They say no to superficial networking events in which people swap business cards and never hear from one another. Why? Because successful people don't network. They build relationships.

3. They say no to spending time with uninspiring, critical, or negative people who drag them down. Time is precious -- choose a small circle of people who will energize you and challenge you to be better. 

4. They say no to overworking. While it's true some successful people and many entrepreneurs put in 60 to 80 hours per week, very successful people aren't workaholics who neglect self-care and family. They recognize that if they can't take care of themselves, everything else suffers. 

5. They say no to doing all the work. This comes down to one word:

D-E-L-E-G-A-T-I-O-N.

6. They say no to giving the steering wheel of life to anyone else. Another Buffett quote affirms this: "You've gotta keep control of your time and you can't unless you say no. You can't let people set your agenda in life."

7. They say no to people-pleasing. Successful people don't neglect their deepest wishes and desires to accommodate and yield to others' wishes and desires. 

Buffett's three-step rule of focus for success

To set you on the right course, take a coaching lesson from Buffett himself. He once walked his personal pilot through a life-changing exercise in goal-setting that's since become popular in productivity and career circles. It's a simple, three-step process to set boundaries, say no to distractions, and home in on success. It goes like this:

1. Write down a list of your top 25 career goals.

2. Circle the five most important goals that truly speak to you. These are your most urgent goals.

Now here's the real kicker. 

3. Completely eliminate the other 20 goals you have listed. Just cross them off, despite if they hold weight or some level of importance. 

Buffett says those 20 goals are lower and not urgent priorities, therefore, any effort invested in them steals away dedicated focus and energy from your five highest-priority goals. 

The point is to say no to everything on that list except for what you have declared, in your heart-of-hearts, to be the five most important things. These are what you should put all your effort and focus into achieving. The rest are merely distractions that will get in the way of your reaching your ultimate success. 

What it takes to be great

Research now shows that the lack of natural talent is irrelevant to great success. The secret? Painful and demanding practice and hard work

By Geoffrey Colvin, senior editor-at-large

October 19 2006

(Fortune Magazine) --

What makes Tiger Woods great? What made Berkshire Hathaway  Chairman Warren Buffett the world's premier investor? We think we know: Each was a natural who came into the world with a gift for doing exactly what he ended up doing. As Buffett told Fortune not long ago, he was "wired at birth to allocate capital." It's a one-in-a-million thing. You've got it - or you don't.

Well, folks, it's not so simple. For one thing, you do not possess a natural gift for a certain job, because targeted natural gifts don't exist. (Sorry, Warren.) You are not a born CEO or investor or chess grandmaster. You will achieve greatness only through an enormous amount of hard work over many years. And not just any hard work, but work of a particular type that's demanding and painful.

Tip Sheet: Perfect Practice 1. Approach each critical task with an explicit goal of getting much better at it. 2. As you do the task, focus on what's happening and why you're doing it the way you are. 3. After the task, get feedback on your performance from multiple sources. Make changes in your behavior as necessary. 4. Continually build mental models of your situation - your industry, your company, your career. Enlarge the models to encompass more factors. 5. Do those steps regularly, not sporadically. Occasional practice does not work.

Buffett, for instance, is famed for his discipline and the hours he spends studying financial statements of potential investment targets. The good news is that your lack of a natural gift is irrelevant - talent has little or nothing to do with greatness. You can make yourself into any number of things, and you can even make yourself great.

Scientific experts are producing remarkably consistent findings across a wide array of fields. Understand that talent doesn't mean intelligence, motivation or personality traits. It's an innate ability to do some specific activity especially well. British-based researchers Michael J. Howe, Jane W. Davidson and John A. Sluboda conclude in an extensive study, "The evidence we have surveyed ... does not support the [notion that] excelling is a consequence of possessing innate gifts."

To see how the researchers could reach such a conclusion, consider the problem they were trying to solve. In virtually every field of endeavor, most people learn quickly at first, then more slowly and then stop developing completely. Yet a few do improve for years and even decades, and go on to greatness.

The irresistible question - the "fundamental challenge" for researchers in this field, says the most prominent of them, professor K. Anders Ericsson of Florida State University - is, Why? How are certain people able to go on improving? The answers begin with consistent observations about great performers in many fields.

Scientists worldwide have conducted scores of studies since the 1993 publication of a landmark paper by Ericsson and two colleagues, many focusing on sports, music and chess, in which performance is relatively easy to measure and plot over time. But plenty of additional studies have also examined other fields, including business.

No substitute for hard work

The first major conclusion is that nobody is great without work. It's nice to believe that if you find the field where you're naturally gifted, you'll be great from day one, but it doesn't happen. There's no evidence of high-level performance without experience or practice.

Reinforcing that no-free-lunch finding is vast evidence that even the most accomplished people need around ten years of hard work before becoming world-class, a pattern so well established researchers call it the ten-year rule.

What about Bobby Fischer, who became a chess grandmaster at 16? Turns out the rule holds: He'd had nine years of intensive study. And as John Horn of the University of Southern California and Hiromi Masunaga of California State University observe, "The ten-year rule represents a very rough estimate, and most researchers regard it as a minimum, not an average." In many fields (music, literature) elite performers need 20 or 30 years' experience before hitting their zenith.

So greatness isn't handed to anyone; it requires a lot of hard work. Yet that isn't enough, since many people work hard for decades without approaching greatness or even getting significantly better. What's missing?

Practice makes perfect

The best people in any field are those who devote the most hours to what the researchers call "deliberate practice." It's activity that's explicitly intended to improve performance, that reaches for objectives just beyond one's level of competence, provides feedback on results and involves high levels of repetition.

For example: Simply hitting a bucket of balls is not deliberate practice, which is why most golfers don't get better. Hitting an eight-iron 300 times with a goal of leaving the ball within 20 feet of the pin 80 percent of the time, continually observing results and making appropriate adjustments, and doing that for hours every day - that's deliberate practice.
Consistency is crucial. As Ericsson notes, "Elite performers in many diverse domains have been found to practice, on the average, roughly the same amount every day, including weekends."

Evidence crosses a remarkable range of fields. In a study of 20-year-old violinists by Ericsson and colleagues, the best group (judged by conservatory teachers) averaged 10,000 hours of deliberate practice over their lives; the next-best averaged 7,500 hours; and the next, 5,000. It's the same story in surgery, insurance sales, and virtually every sport. More deliberate practice equals better performance. Tons of it equals great performance.

The skeptics

Not all researchers are totally onboard with the myth-of-talent hypothesis, though their objections go to its edges rather than its center. For one thing, there are the intangibles. Two athletes might work equally hard, but what explains the ability of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to perform at a higher level in the last two minutes of a game?
Researchers also note, for example, child prodigies who could speak, read or play music at an unusually early age. But on investigation those cases generally include highly involved parents. And many prodigies do not go on to greatness in their early field, while great performers include many who showed no special early aptitude.

Certainly some important traits are partly inherited, such as physical size and particular measures of intelligence, but those influence what a person doesn't do more than what he does; a five-footer will never be an NFL lineman, and a seven-footer will never be an Olympic gymnast. Even those restrictions are less severe than you'd expect: Ericsson notes, "Some international chess masters have IQs in the 90s." The more research that's done, the more solid the deliberate-practice model becomes.

Real-world examples

All this scholarly research is simply evidence for what great performers have been showing us for years. To take a handful of examples: Winston Churchill, one of the 20th century's greatest orators, practiced his speeches compulsively. Vladimir Horowitz supposedly said, "If I don't practice for a day, I know it. If I don't practice for two days, my wife knows it. If I don't practice for three days, the world knows it." He was certainly a demon practicer, but the same quote has been attributed to world-class musicians like Ignace Paderewski and Luciano Pavarotti.

Many great athletes are legendary for the brutal discipline of their practice routines. In basketball, Michael Jordan practiced intensely beyond the already punishing team practices. (Had Jordan possessed some mammoth natural gift specifically for basketball, it seems unlikely he'd have been cut from his high school team.)
In football, all-time-great receiver Jerry Rice - passed up by 15 teams because they considered him too slow - practiced so hard that other players would get sick trying to keep up.
Tiger Woods is a textbook example of what the research shows. Because his father introduced him to golf at an extremely early age - 18 months - and encouraged him to practice intensively, Woods had racked up at least 15 years of practice by the time he became the youngest-ever winner of the U.S. Amateur Championship, at age 18. Also in line with the findings, he has never stopped trying to improve, devoting many hours a day to conditioning and practice, even remaking his swing twice because that's what it took to get even better.

The business side

The evidence, scientific as well as anecdotal, seems overwhelmingly in favor of deliberate practice as the source of great performance. Just one problem: How do you practice business? Many elements of business, in fact, are directly practicable. Presenting, negotiating, delivering evaluations, deciphering financial statements - you can practice them all.

Still, they aren't the essence of great managerial performance. That requires making judgments and decisions with imperfect information in an uncertain environment, interacting with people, seeking information - can you practice those things too? You can, though not in the way you would practice a Chopin etude.
Instead, it's all about how you do what you're already doing - you create the practice in your work, which requires a few critical changes. The first is going at any task with a new goal: Instead of merely trying to get it done, you aim to get better at it.
Report writing involves finding information, analyzing it and presenting it - each an improvable skill. Chairing a board meeting requires understanding the company's strategy in the deepest way, forming a coherent view of coming market changes and setting a tone for the discussion. Anything that anyone does at work, from the most basic task to the most exalted, is an improvable skill.

Adopting a new mindset

Armed with that mindset, people go at a job in a new way. Research shows they process information more deeply and retain it longer. They want more information on what they're doing and seek other perspectives. They adopt a longer-term point of view. In the activity itself, the mindset persists. You aren't just doing the job, you're explicitly trying to get better at it in the larger sense.

Again, research shows that this difference in mental approach is vital. For example, when amateur singers take a singing lesson, they experience it as fun, a release of tension. But for professional singers, it's the opposite: They increase their concentration and focus on improving their performance during the lesson. Same activity, different mindset.
Feedback is crucial, and getting it should be no problem in business. Yet most people don't seek it; they just wait for it, half hoping it won't come. Without it, as Goldman Sachs leadership-development chief Steve Kerr says, "it's as if you're bowling through a curtain that comes down to knee level. If you don't know how successful you are, two things happen: One, you don't get any better, and two, you stop caring." In some companies, like General Electric, frequent feedback is part of the culture. If you aren't lucky enough to get that, seek it out.

Be the ball

Through the whole process, one of your goals is to build what the researchers call "mental models of your business" - pictures of how the elements fit together and influence one another. The more you work on it, the larger your mental models will become and the better your performance will grow.
Andy Grove could keep a model of a whole world-changing technology industry in his head and adapt Intel (Charts) as needed. Bill Gates, Microsoft's (Charts) founder, had the same knack: He could see at the dawn of the PC that his goal of a computer on every desk was realistic and would create an unimaginably large market. John D. Rockefeller, too, saw ahead when the world-changing new industry was oil. Napoleon was perhaps the greatest ever. He could not only hold all the elements of a vast battle in his mind but, more important, could also respond quickly when they shifted in unexpected ways.
That's a lot to focus on for the benefits of deliberate practice - and worthless without one more requirement: Do it regularly, not sporadically.

Why?

For most people, work is hard enough without pushing even harder. Those extra steps are so difficult and painful they almost never get done. That's the way it must be. If great performance were easy, it wouldn't be rare. Which leads to possibly the deepest question about greatness. While experts understand an enormous amount about the behavior that produces great performance, they understand very little about where that behavior comes from.

The authors of one study conclude, "We still do not know which factors encourage individuals to engage in deliberate practice." Or as University of Michigan business school professor Noel Tichy puts it after 30 years of working with managers, "Some people are much more motivated than others, and that's the existential question I cannot answer - why."

The critical reality is that we are not hostage to some naturally granted level of talent. We can make ourselves what we will. Strangely, that idea is not popular. People hate abandoning the notion that they would coast to fame and riches if they found their talent. But that view is tragically constraining, because when they hit life's inevitable bumps in the road, they conclude that they just aren't gifted and give up.
Maybe we can't expect most people to achieve greatness. It's just too demanding. But the striking, liberating news is that greatness isn't reserved for a preordained few. It is available to you and to everyone.

5 Qualities Kobe Bryant Possesses That Will Make You a Better Professional

5 Qualities Kobe Bryant Possesses That Will Make You a Better Professional

Kobe Bryant, 5x NBA champion, and one of the greatest basketball players the world has ever seen is one of the most recognizable sportsmen in the world today. His style of play is a joy to watch, with his myriad array of ways to score and penchant to deliver ‘I-can’t-believe-that-just-happened’ moments. He is a basketball artist, with the ball as his brush.

And yet despite this, I just can’t admit to liking Kobe Bryant. He plays for the wrong team (I am a Rockets fan), and I liked rival players of his when I grew up (Tracy McGrady comes to mind). He also seems to have a polarizing personality that has clashed with teammates and coaches in the past. Those factors make it hard for me to like Kobe Bryant. But after all these years watching the NBA, Kobe Bryant is the player that I have gained the most respect for, so much so that I have tried to learn from his successes and am now trying to apply these learning’s to my own career.

Whilst I am in a profession nothing like basketball, I can’t help but keep looking to what Kobe Bryant has done and continues to do over his career as a source of great inspiration in my work, especially as a young professional looking to develop and consolidate a strong core set of values for me to succeed in the work I do.

So what kind of qualities can be transferable from a basketball court to a board room? What kind of traits does Kobe Bryant possess that can help any professional? I would like to now share the five qualities that I have seen in Kobe Bryant that I try and draw on to make me a better professional every day:

1. Meticulous Preparation

No one in the NBA prepares for a game like Kobe Bryant. He spends endless hours studying game tape of the opposing team, his direct match-ups(s), team match-ups, and everything else in a bid to understand and counter what the opposition has to offer. Kobe understood from an early age, the importance that preparation had on how he performed on the court. This was in part due to his self-awareness that he could not initially simply overpower anyone due to his then-slender frame. “I was a scrawny kid”, he said. “I knew for me to get any type of edge whatsoever I had to be more prepared than the person I was matching up against”. Not that being scrawny has been much of an issue for Kobe in the NBA – he has listed at 6’6’’ (198cm) and around 215 pounds (97.5kg) for most of his career and is one of the most physically gifted players of his generation. And yet his preparation for games has only gone up several notches since his rookie season, not only preparing pregame but during games as well. At half-time of games, Kobe would go back to the locker room to study game tape of the 1^st half and would often get his teammates to watch examples of plays in preparation for the 2^nd half.

Kobe’s preparation is something that would make every professional better. No matter how talented or gifted you are, nothing beats preparation in obtaining excellent results – whatever it may be. If you want to smash that sales pitch, presentation, or client meeting – preparation is the key to success. Much like Kobe learns his opponent’s game, preparation will allow you to learn who your audience is, understand your deliverable inside-out, and plan for any unexpected events that may be thrown up. Whilst I often romanticise my ability to ‘wing’ say a presentation, the reality is that without adequate preparation, any presentation I deliver would invariably bomb. What I draw from Kobe is that preparation is how you will get the results, and that results aren’t simply down to talent or luck, but hard work.

2. Strive for improvement

Kobe Bryant was not a superstar overnight. He entered the NBA as an 18-year-old straight out of high school and experienced quite a few setbacks his first and second year of professional basketball. His four straight air-balls against the Jazz in the 96-97 playoffs come to mind. However, Kobe also improved dramatically in those first couple of years, becoming arguably the best in his position and an NBA champion by his 4^th year. His insatiable work ethic, ferocious competitive nature, and dedication as a student of the game made sure of that. Despite reaching the summit, Kobe continued to hone his game, spending endless summers watching and mimicking moves from NBA legends such as Michael Jordan, or improving his footwork with Hakeem Olajuwon to rely less on his diminishing athleticism to keep ahead of his competition.

Kobe’s constant strive for improvement reminds me of the philosophy of ‘Kaizen’; to continuously improve business processes, traditionally in manufacturing. Kobe’s dedication to improvement is meticulous, and machine-like. This mentality is something that any professional can apply – to aim to continuously improve their craft; their clients, industries and markets, and to identify and illuminate waste in the way you do things (stop youtubing 2 hours a day!). To not be content (for too long) with the current skill set and knowledge that you possess because there is always something new to learn. To have the passion and curiosity to continuously learn and master is another. Look up the values and behaviours that are requisite to the large professional services firms and ‘hunger to improve or grow’ are commonplace.

Here’s a quote on how Bryant wants to be remembered, which provides a great insight into his focus on getting the most out of himself: “To think of me as a person that’s overachieved, that would mean a lot to me. That means I put a lot of work in and squeezed every ounce of juice out of this orange that I could.”

3. Resilience

Throughout the years, Kobe Bryant has had his fair share of critics. The critics come far and wide, critiquing his performance from on the court and off it too. This has to be very exhausting and distracting for Kobe Bryant, especially when the criticism is warranted. But you really couldn’t tell, given the magnificent seasons Kobe has provided and the championships he has delivered. Whilst failures on and off the court have mostly been in his control for the most part, Kobe Bryant has been dealt with a cruel season with a possible career ending Achilles injury suffered last April. There have been few players who have been able to return to the court successfully after a torn Achilles tendon, especially a player of Kobe’s age (he recently turned 35). This may have been Kobe’s darkest hour as a player, and despite some initial disappointment, Kobe responded by vowing to study the recoveries of others who have suffered the injury to make the fastest and best recovery from an Achilles injury possible. Four months into his recovery, Bryant said that he has “shattered” the average recovery time from surgery. Bryant’s resilience to the extreme challenges that he faces and continues to face is an amazing competitive advantage, where others would have buckled; he seems to relish the challenge.

In an ever changing world, every professional will go through a period of heightened stress  where negative thoughts dominate and cloud the mind, severely handicapping performance. Your ability to quickly bounce back up and develop contingencies is one way of overcoming this, enabling you to keep performing at a high level regardless of the pressures and responsibilities encountered. Important in a time where presenteeism has cost Australian employers $34.1 billion in 2011. Another great benefit of building resilience is that your tolerance to stress can strengthen as the pressure grows – crucial as you climb the ladder, as you invariably take up larger roles, or sit in higher pressure environments. This is akin to seeing Bryant perform and excel in incrementally tougher stages – from the regular season, to the playoffs, and finally the finals, where championships are won and lost.

4. Leads by Example

When you play for a team with Bryant beside you, you know you have someone that will stand up for the team when the going gets tough. Kobe will also strive to get the most out of you and each teammate, be it on the practice court, out of every timeout, and of course, during a game. Bryant will demand that you compete and give 110%, – anything less is unacceptable. He does this best by leading by example; he will only demand that you give as much as he gives. A rookie would learn much from training and playing with Kobe Bryant, as he is the king of the walk, and even if he blows his Achilles and can no longer walk, he still leads by example (see video).

There is nothing more impressive to me than to see a leader practicing what he/she preaches, seeing your leader get down and do the hard yards to set the bar at where everyone else needs to be. Great leadership calls for a strong sense of accountability for not only getting the job done but also ensuring that those under your wing are given every chance to develop and shine. For someone at the early stages of his career, leaders that have this trait can really instill a lasting impression, and can really quickly change the working culture through their actions. This can quickly inspire a small project team or an entire workforce to strive to emulate at a minimum what they have seen as an example from their leader. Very, very few NBA champions or booming organisations have had poor leadership.

5. Self-belief

All those qualities described above are relative without this one: self-belief. And Bryant has a truck-load of this. Bryant’s belief in his own ability to push through and win games no matter the situation is legendary. You’d need a bit of self-belief to decide to bypass college for the NBA, challenge Shaq as the man on the Lakers, and ultimately lead your team to the championship five times. Witness his infinite belief in his ability and to his craft, through his incredible recovery from a torn Achilles at the moment – he’s already running on a treadmill 4 months when the typical length of time is 6-9 months after a torn Achilles.

You can’t do anything worthwhile without a little self-belief; it is the ultimate enabler to achieving great results. There have been numerous times where I rued that lost opportunity or failed to act in that moment because I didn’t have the confidence to just do it. Self-belief allows you to take risks, and importantly buffer you from the setbacks that may come your way. It helps you to keep pushing, even if you have failed along the way. It is also important to distinguish self-belief from arrogance, as arrogance is characterised by a lack of self-awareness whereas self-belief requires self-awareness for it to be effective, and helps keep things in perspective, especially when you are not experiencing a linear journey towards your goals. This perspective is incredibly important to your ability to prepare, improve, lead, and block out the noise that distracts you from your objectives.

Concluding Remarks

So those are the qualities that I have seen in Bryant that continue to inspire me today to become a better professional. I have seen Bryant excel in these areas to control and drive his career to the ultimate success (NBA Championship) multiple times, and I believe that these same qualities will allow any professional to reach the summit of their work, be it an executive at a large multinational corporation, or founder of a successful local business.

So what are your thoughts on Kobe’s strengths and how it may help you? I’d be greatly interested to hear these. And also stay tuned for my next blog, which will explore flaws that I have observed in Bryant that I try and avoid in my own work.

How Many Sex Partners Is Too Many? - Simple Question

•*♡❤ (逆風飛翔 ~蕭煌奇) 好聽輕快 勵志歌曲 Tzu Chi Songs