Duncan himself commented on his "boring" image, stating: "If you show excitement, then you also may show disappointment or frustration. If your opponent picks up on this frustration, you are at a disadvantage."
Sports journalist Kevin Kernan commented on his ability to relax and stay focused, stating that having a degree in psychology, Duncan often not only outplays, but outpsychs his opponents.
Duncan cites his late mother Ione as his main inspiration. Among other things, she taught him and his sisters the nursery rhyme "Good, Better, Best. Never let it rest / Until your Good is Better, and your Better is your Best", which he adopted as his personal motto.
Regarding his own personality, Duncan compares himself to Will Hunting of the movie Good Will Hunting, which centers around the genial and antagonistic character of Will Hunting, portrayed by Matt Damon. He stated: "I'm just a taller, slightly less hyperactive version of the Damon character in the movie. I really enjoyed how he probed people and found out their weaknesses just by asking questions and stating outlandish remarks."
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
How to Use Facebook and Twitter to Flirt Your Way to a Date
A male reader of mine friended me on Facebook and suggested we grab a drink or a bite to eat the next time I am in San Francisco. Strangers like to throw it out there immediately, but people you actually know? First there is flirting and finessing!
Now, where there is "game," there are rules—whether or not you choose to acknowledge them. I would apply much of the regular flirting rules to online flirting. However, the difficult terrain is navigating the flow of information-sharing and your reaction time, since it's possible to control it. For example, in person you would laugh immediately at his joke, but online, do you write “LOL” right away, or do you use the 2-day rule? You don’t want to appear too anxious, but if you let him simmer for 48 hours, your reply loses relevance. Well, no one has all the answers. But here’s my best interpretation of the flirting rules as they apply to Facebook and Twitter.
It’s okay to look him up.
The Millionaire Matchmaker once said, “He who speaks first is masculine energy.” I think this means you can search for a guy and friend him, but don’t send him a long synopsis of what happened last night after he left with his buddies. My friend Kelly recommends posting on his wall a cute little statement that doesn’t require a response, so if he does reply, there's a chance he's interested.
Related: 10 Little Dating Mistakes That Could Be Keeping You Single
Keep it clean.
Try not to post anything on your profile that you wouldn’t say in front of your parents. If the guy is big on privacy, he’ll be hesitant to get involved with someone he thinks will kiss and tell.
Rushing responses can seem overly anxious.
In general, the shorter the medium (text message, IM, or wall posts), the quicker you can respond. If it’s an email, I usually reply within 1-24 hours. Also: It’s fine to invite him to a party, but don’t hurry a conversation just because you have an event coming up and you want get to a place where you feel comfortable asking him. Every time I have rushed something out of anxiety for my own schedule, it didn’t work.
Stay honest.
If you tweet that you went to a party you didn’t really go to, the guy might catch you in the lie later. Why brag to get a guy’s attention? It’s insecure. Your Facebook profile should reflect exactly who you are, which is fabulous!
Less is more.
Retain a little mystery—don’t update your status every 5 minutes just to stay visible on his newsfeed. If you give a play-by-play of your life, you can’t possibly be interesting all the time. On Twitter, I stop following people who tweet 9 updates in a row.
Related: 6 Ways to Turn Your Summer Fling Into the Real Thing
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Why not publish an album of last night’s party? Post flattering photos of yourself and yes, it’s okay to tag photos of your crush...but don’t be offended if he untags himself. That’s his prerogative, and guys like to control any and all public information that concerns them.
Watch your word count.
Avoid oversharing or seeming anxious or needy. If he writes 7-word messages, keep your messages short and breezy, too. (This is why Twitter is good, because it forces you to be economical with your words!)
Weave him into a narrative.
If you follow each other on Twitter, mentioning him once (@theguyyoulike) is fine, but if he never mentions you, I wouldn't continue. It’s a creative and passive way to flirt but an interested guy will eventually take it offline and ask you out.
When in doubt, share info in moderation. But don’t worry too much about any of these rules, as the right person will love you no matter what or when or how much you type!
Now, where there is "game," there are rules—whether or not you choose to acknowledge them. I would apply much of the regular flirting rules to online flirting. However, the difficult terrain is navigating the flow of information-sharing and your reaction time, since it's possible to control it. For example, in person you would laugh immediately at his joke, but online, do you write “LOL” right away, or do you use the 2-day rule? You don’t want to appear too anxious, but if you let him simmer for 48 hours, your reply loses relevance. Well, no one has all the answers. But here’s my best interpretation of the flirting rules as they apply to Facebook and Twitter.
It’s okay to look him up.
The Millionaire Matchmaker once said, “He who speaks first is masculine energy.” I think this means you can search for a guy and friend him, but don’t send him a long synopsis of what happened last night after he left with his buddies. My friend Kelly recommends posting on his wall a cute little statement that doesn’t require a response, so if he does reply, there's a chance he's interested.
Related: 10 Little Dating Mistakes That Could Be Keeping You Single
Keep it clean.
Try not to post anything on your profile that you wouldn’t say in front of your parents. If the guy is big on privacy, he’ll be hesitant to get involved with someone he thinks will kiss and tell.
Rushing responses can seem overly anxious.
In general, the shorter the medium (text message, IM, or wall posts), the quicker you can respond. If it’s an email, I usually reply within 1-24 hours. Also: It’s fine to invite him to a party, but don’t hurry a conversation just because you have an event coming up and you want get to a place where you feel comfortable asking him. Every time I have rushed something out of anxiety for my own schedule, it didn’t work.
Stay honest.
If you tweet that you went to a party you didn’t really go to, the guy might catch you in the lie later. Why brag to get a guy’s attention? It’s insecure. Your Facebook profile should reflect exactly who you are, which is fabulous!
Less is more.
Retain a little mystery—don’t update your status every 5 minutes just to stay visible on his newsfeed. If you give a play-by-play of your life, you can’t possibly be interesting all the time. On Twitter, I stop following people who tweet 9 updates in a row.
Related: 6 Ways to Turn Your Summer Fling Into the Real Thing
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Why not publish an album of last night’s party? Post flattering photos of yourself and yes, it’s okay to tag photos of your crush...but don’t be offended if he untags himself. That’s his prerogative, and guys like to control any and all public information that concerns them.
Watch your word count.
Avoid oversharing or seeming anxious or needy. If he writes 7-word messages, keep your messages short and breezy, too. (This is why Twitter is good, because it forces you to be economical with your words!)
Weave him into a narrative.
If you follow each other on Twitter, mentioning him once (@theguyyoulike) is fine, but if he never mentions you, I wouldn't continue. It’s a creative and passive way to flirt but an interested guy will eventually take it offline and ask you out.
When in doubt, share info in moderation. But don’t worry too much about any of these rules, as the right person will love you no matter what or when or how much you type!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Regina Brett 50
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
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